Sunday, August 21, 2011The Zombie Survival Guide: Ogden at 11:08 AM
I am hoping that there are plenty of zombie enthusiasts out there that are all asking themselves the same question.
“What kind of zombies are being referenced in this survival guide, and tutorial that Jeff is giving us?”
To which I simply reply, “Well played Clerks, well played.”
I will be basing all of my information in these guides off of the zombies that are referenced in Max Brooks’s two wonderful books: The Zombie Survival Guide, and World War Z. These books have become a very near and dear part of my collection, sharing shelf space with Whitman, Tolkien, Salinger, Crichton, and of course...My comics.
The zombies that you will be facing on the streets out there, will be slow and fairly unresponsive. Nothing that you can’t handle, right?
Well...As Morgan said in The Walking Dead, “They might not seem like much one at a time, but when they're in a group all riled up and hungry, man you watch your ass.”
Zombies are often taken for granted, due to the fact that they are slow, unsure, and generally...well, dead. What we have to very first and foremost remember is that they are an enemy that we need to respect. They are the shark of the land. The walk around, eat, and make new zombies. They are machines that do not feel pain, they don’t understand fear, and they are most definitely NOT afraid of you.
These creatures shuffle their feet, as they slowly move down the streets. Hands, always reaching out to grab, and take, and hold onto your clothes, and hair, and accessories, and iPod headphones, (although when I see a kid at a family dinner in a restaurant with his phones in, I just want a zombie to get them anyways, so yeah...)
Start looking around your home. Look for weapons at hand. Do you have survival gear anywhere? Do you have a flashlight? Backpacks for outdoor use? Leatherman? Do you even know if there is a spare tire in your car, and if so is it even inflated properly? Go ahead, I will wait...I need to make some coffee anyways)
OK...Coffee is on, what did we learn? You’re nowhere near as prepared as you think you are, aye? It’s ok, we all have to start somewhere. This is why we are doing what we do. Indie Ogden care about our readers, because we promote life.So, I spent the evening thinking about life, and what I really wanted to accomplish by writing this piece, and realized that I am just as unprepared as the rest of you when it comes to the end of the world. This is something that we all face, and all fear, yet we do nothing to prepare for it. Today, we take a stand. Today, we take back our future.
Today, we shout at the top of our lungs, “NO, UNDEAD MENACE, YOU WILL NOT EAT MY ARMS! YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY EXISTENCE, JUST BECAUSE I WAS UNPREPARED!”
Ogden is a large city, and has many beautiful wonders to show us, and with that, there are also many dangers to worry about. It is our duty, together, to learn her in’s and out’s. Let’s get out there together, and find the hidden beauty. Next week we will be talking about the major places in the city of Ogden that we should NOT be going to when this happens. The places that will be overrun very quickly, and be veritable hotspots for the undead to spread.
Until next time,
Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago,
Sam Goody, Goody got it!
******************About Jeff Dillon*******************
Jeff Dillon is a 31 year old graduate (with honors) from the Slytherin house, and gained his doctorate at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. He is a veteran of the battle for Endor, he was the drummer for the rock band Drive Shaft, and was a part of a secret genetics team at InGen until…”The Incident”.
Nowadays, he spends his time as an independent filmmaker, with the Faded Sky Entertainment production company, and an avid arts advocate. You can usually find Jeff under the pseudo moniker, “Sookie” at local bars singing karaoke with his friends, and a cold PBR, (you have probably never heard of it though). He is also a HUGE stickler for using "Times New Roman" for everything.
He enjoys his time with a really good book, horror films, indie music, pop music, corn dogs, coffee, beer, or trying to convince people that 28 Days Later is NOT a zombie film.
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